Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you inspire me to be a worse person
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
