i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
