I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize