What did we do last night that was yellow?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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