You're my little dorito
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
