Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
