We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
