Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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