I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
