Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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