We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
