I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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