You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
