I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
