dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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