i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
