we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
