My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
