It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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