She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
