Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ugly people sure do ruin things
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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