I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
