dude i'm inner monologue high
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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