only if we run a train.
done.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
