I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize