Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
