I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
