I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
