it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
