I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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