can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
