And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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