who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
