it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
