remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
