If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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