her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
