You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize