I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
