Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
pray to the hookup gods
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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