Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hippo gnu deer
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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