how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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