So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
