so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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