Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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