just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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