WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
