problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize