We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
