Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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