if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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