what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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