I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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