I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
