forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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