I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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