I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
