do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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