just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
