i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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