I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
