so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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