mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
