She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
