my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
