So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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