is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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