Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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