i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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