I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize