Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
