do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
