just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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